The Olsen Twins Want To Dress Michelle Obama, Filthy Hippie Chic To Sweep Nation

Teacup-sized designers Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have big plans for their designer clothing line the Row. So big, in fact, that they’re going to start with the White House. According to the twins, their high-end label would be perfect for Michelle Obama. Gushes Ashley, “I’d love to get Michelle Obama in the Row. The simple suits and things.”

As most people with the power of sight know, the Olsens are well-known for dressing like Janis Joplin and Cousin It on a bender (Historical note: this may have actually happened).  We doubt Mary-Kate and Ashley have the same definition for the word “simple” — and, while we’re at it, the word “suit” — as the rest of America.  However, the past few years have seen the twins make a glacially slow move away from Oscar the Grouch chic and toward a sleeker, albeit still bizarrely oversized, wardrobe. Perhaps Mary-Kate abd Ashley have been wearing such enormous frocks this entire time as a way to make a statement to the 5’10” FLOTUS. A statement like, “We refuse to make clothes that fit anyone beside you, Michelle; we don’t care how many car doors or street cleaners we must get caught before you buy them.”

But fit isn’t the only reason the First Lady should grab her AmEx and helicopter over to the mall. Says Ashley, “It’s all made in America, so why not?” Good point, Olsen #2! Unfortunately Mrs. Obama caught so much flack for flashing her bare arms after becoming First Lady, we can only imagine what FOX News would have to say if she showed up in a formal denim jumpsuit or a white satin fem-tuxedo. Rush Limbaugh would have a heart attack for days. [Photo: Getty Images] - thefablife.com